Monarchical Absurdities
Charles Windsor has once again seen fit to indulge us with a nugget of his boundless wisdom. On a visit to a diabetes centre in the United Arab Emirates Charles asked a nutritionist if they had ‘got anywhere with McDonald's, have you tried getting it banned? That's the key.’
Let us put aside the issue of whether or not McDonalds should be banned (of course, it shouldn’t, and Charles is a fool for suggesting so) and concentrate on another, more disturbing issue raised by his latest foray into the public debate. Who does this man think he is?
Charles has never stood in an election, never achieved anything due to merit and never given us any reason to want him as our next Head of State. His high public profile is due entirely to the names of his parents. Having led a completely unreal and detached life, he is incapable of empathizing with ordinary peoples problems. Has the heir to the throne ever been inside a McDonalds? I doubt if he could tell a Big Mac from a McChicken sandwich.
Yet he persists in letting his ill informed and often reactionary musings be known to the rest of us and, because of his absurd position as heir, he is given attention out of all proportion to the validity of his views. Charles is not a man blessed with any degree of high intelligence. Let me regale you with one of his more hilarious sound-bites: ‘It is high time we once again respected flights of the spirit; high time we concentrated our collective efforts on unleashing the vast transforming and regenerative potential which lies within the individual as a member of the community.’ What does this claptrap mean? Does Charles himself even know?
Soon after he made his latest remarks, a spokeswoman from Clarence House said that Charles was merely promoting healthy eating and "importance of a balanced diet, especially for children". Hello? It seems to me that this was a typical moronic remark from an especially dim-witted person, something which anyone can see. But remember, this man may be our future head of State! So his stupid remarks were quickly ‘explained’ and ‘contextualized’ by the gears of the Monarchical machine. A courtier had to gloss over the fact that her poor boss is an idiot.
The man cuts a tragic figure. Abused and deformed by the cruel gilded cage of Monarchy which he was forced into because of his lineage, he has never had a chance to lead a normal life. He has spent his entire existence waiting for his mother to die so he can take up her dull and thankless job as Head of State. Indeed, he cannot even be sure he will live long enough to become King, as Elizabeth Windsor looks set to carry on as long as her mother. However you look at it, Charles’ fate has been horrific.
So what is Charles to do? How does he get away from the massive and unbearable burden which hangs over him every second of every day? He occupies himself with kooky projects, spends tax payer money on lavish holidays and rubs shoulders with sycophants and courtiers. He reads third rate philosophy written by his ‘guru’, the dead charlatan and self-titled ‘modern sage’ Laurens van der Post.
Of course, there is a reason why Charles has grown into such a warped individual. That reason is the archaic institution of Monarchy, Britain’s favorite and most perverse public fetish. The combination of a Monarchy with 24/7 celebrity culture, where private life is almost impossible in the spotlight of the obsessive modern media, means misery and degradation for the Royal family. They are a broken group whose lives have been ruined by their supposed ‘duty’. Indeed, in the tragic case of Diana, this poisonous combination of crown and long lens camera led her to death in a speeding car being chased by paparazzi.
The answer is for us to join our American friends in rejecting completely the institution of Monarchy. Let us throw it onto the scrapheap of history to join other antiquated nonsense’s (like capital punishment and slavery) we have ditched over the years. This is 2007! How absurd we still have to practice such deference and bow to certain ‘Majesties’ based on their ancestry.
Republicans are often accused of hating the Royals whilst Monarchists always insist they ‘love’ Elizabeth Windsor and her absurd clan. The reverse is true. Monarchists do not care about the well-being of the Windsor family – they want to continue this gross public freak-show indefinitely. Republicans want to set this poor family free to sink or swim in the real world like the rest of us before another generation of Windsor children is sacrificed on the alter of ‘duty’.
Besides, William is smart enough to not want to end up like his father. When the time comes for him to step up and rule, no doubt he will tell his family where to shove their scepter.
-posted by Adam
